Before we tackle any advice, I want to acknowledge how tough this situation is. Even voicing your fertility struggles out loud puts you in a vulnerable position, so thank you for doing so, and I’m sorry for any pain you’re going through.

In my 20s, my biggest worry was paying my rent on time. The rest of life and its heavy responsibilities – relationships, my body’s ticking clock, and climbing a career ladder – were shoved to the back of my mind. Then, with a brutality I wasn’t ready for, as soon as I turned 30, all of these life moments – relationships, careers, family, fertility – were aggressively pushed to the fore. It came in the form of my best friend telling me she was pregnant. Quite viciously, I was faced with the reckoning that just because my friends and I were a similar age, it didn’t mean we were living the same lives.

I can’t say I was in the same shoes you find yourself in now, but I do understand the worry of thinking that these big life changes – marriage, children, families – and how you are feeling about it, might come between your friendship. It’s easy to fall into the hole of comparing life milestones, particularly when you have close friendships that have led you to lead similar lives thus far. Try to repeat this phrase in your head as often as you can: comparison is the thief of joy.

Ask Billie: “My best friend is pregnant but I’ve been trying for 2 years – how should I handle this?”